Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Trials and Tribulations

After being away for awhile I have a bit on my head tonight and this always seems to be the place that my thoughts can flow forth. in my head, i cant even access or decode most of them. i get so scattered and focused in on solely the day to day tasks and my emotions that the thoughts behind them all seem to get pushed back and vanish until forced out with ink on paper or dancing fingers on an illuminated surface tapping out to a rhythm of their own accord.
Its another late night and Sir sleeps beside me.
He's been sick for the past few days and today and yesterday he's hardly managed to walk or stay awake. Got him his medicine and some powerade as well as food when ever he does ask for it.
after 6 weeks of searching I have today, finally found a OB doctor who will take care of little one and I during this pregnancy.
the days until Sir leaves for the three months of military time are getting closer too quickly.
An entire trimester without him and after two miscarriages last year in scared to death to go through this pregnancy at all without him.
Today is the 8th he has going away parties on the 20th and 25th ships out on the 26th, paper work on the 17th, deps meeting on the 15th, so this month is busy and racing by and its really knocking me off kilter. Add to it the emotional rolar coaster of closing in the first trimester being pregnant and old abandonment issues and you can probably guess I've been a fragile mess.

But I don't want to be misses gloom and doom as if there are no sunshine's or rays of light in our world. Though we are struggling I know things will get much better after this time has passed. And for the time being at least we still have each other for a couple weeks....
We are now married as of 27.Dec.13 (FINALLY!)
and this pregnancy, so far has had no complications.
On that note, the increased bormines have made sex even more intense and amazing! Dropping into subspace after only a couple intense orgasms.
I'm staying with a friend who can help me through all the trials and tribulations of becoming a mommy while Sir is away. That puts me to ease alot to know at least I won'tt be going about this completely blind and alone.