Thursday, October 31, 2013

tonight the new year

First she was awoken to him to crawling into bed with her, he had woken a couple hours previous to her, and hind hand quickly finding her pussy. then his cock was rubbing against her getting her hot and hotter. before she knew it he was inside thrusting and not stopping until she was completely spent and unable to bear anymore. then he pushed a little further before giving her a rest.
She regained some strength then pulled out her great big bag of herbs and went to work making a mix for the new year.
strawberry leaf for happiness
one for good luck
another for money
poppy seed for fertility.
one more herb for strength
another for healing
then another for over all continued health
salt for grounding.
 and white sage to ward off negativity.

she mixed it up and ground in the sage then scooped out one spoon into a satchel to wear and carry for the next 30 days. (a full moon cycle)
the rest was to be left in the bowl to either sprinkle out along the lawn by her bedroom window tonight  or later on when she felt it best to do

Nice and calm, now content as well, she left to shower then to the kitchen for some lunch.

Next they went to the mall where Sir had an interview for a job.
she is very happy about this as they both have been low on money and much in need of fresh jobs.
on the way from the mall they were headed to the local park to get some outdoors time together when they received a call. Sir was asked to dob sit for some friends of ours while they went out to dinner tonight. He would be paid for this as well!

So far she thinks the money request in new years satchel is kicking into activation! yay!

then tonight as they arrived to the house to dog sit, she received a much awaited letter online from a girl she cares very much about and has been missing lately. she didn't get to converse with the girl as she had already logged back off, but none the less she was happy.

Despite how well today has been it doesn't change that she needs to realign herself as well.
she has been so lost lately. so unsure of her own thoughts and emotions really so out of touch with herself. and thus the thought crossed her mind of an old psych lesson.

"when your mind is so focused on me me me and i this and and i that what better way to disconnect and see yourself and others more clearly? disconnect. look at things from an outer view. so tonight instead of circling around "how do i feel" and "what am i thinking? i cant think straight. i love sir. I'm hungry. i this i that" she has decided to think externally.

if she thinks as herself as a third person and not an internal aspect maybe she can understand herself better. its like writing a book. you get into your characters head so fully that you become them yet you are still not them you are seeing them as an external unit. she thinks she will treat herself as one of those aspects of research. someone she is looking in on for the night.
and she thinks at this point it is working as she has typed more now than she usually does when in a good mood.
ordinarily she only writes long posts when they are in deff erotica or in the whims of a depression.
tonight is a night of joys and new beginnings. tonight is a happy night which she has spent with her sir and has very much enjoyed every moment of.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013


Last night we had him on the bed and my self sleeping on the floor.
i strongly believe that every relationship and argument has two sides. I also feel that lately hes been doing well at trying to do better and i haven't been trying hard enough. I feel like if i was trying hard enough itd be more evident and i wouldn't be so bitchy and snappy still. So i asked to be punished last night.
I was asked the question "are you seeking out confrontation with him" prior to the co concreting of this decision.
My answer was as i honestly believed at the moment "no" but i also noticed that i tqitched when saying that
"conciously, no i haven't...but i twitched upon saying maybe subconciously i have been"
I realized in that moment that I've been doing this week the same thing i do in every relationship over reacting and attacking him for no reason but my own insecurities.
"do you want to be punished?"
I was offered blindness, being bound, as well as punishment flogging and sleeping on the floor. I agreed to all of them and told Sir to get onto the bed that tonight he would only be blind. I told him that i was vi ding my own hands but he offered to do that for me.
i took also as my punishment, giving hum head and not allowing myself to enjoy the act. Instead i had to deep throat hum majority of the time doing it as well as reminding my self that this sweet skin, this beautiful body and the man it belonged to have been the target of my unjust attacks. Reminding myself that i was pushing someone so delicious away from myself. That instead of this pleasure o had been giving him instead pain.
After he came i took my flogging on my back and ribs.
Then layes on my back ontoo of the welts forcing myself to further insure the pain and punishment. Before laying down i took the blindfold so as to endure the blindness.
I was to keep the blindfold on until Sir was ready to be awake himself. Then and only then was allowed to see again .
Tonight i think i will again sleep blind on the floor.
Currently i am thinking of having another physical punishment before bed tonight.

Monday, October 21, 2013

day1 attempted friendship

Slowly things are sliding back into place. I still love him of course. I will always love him.

He went to his meeting at the naval station the arrived home around 2.
I was annoyed and snappy as I thought he'd be back at 12. He took my cuts in calm breath and kept himself together though. Composure. A lesson a could certainly do to learn.
After he walked away I sat there and took a deep breath "stop it. You are over reacting again. He couldn't control this. Breathe. Calm down. Be happy its your birthday! Smile. Ok. I've got this"  I stood ready to go and apologize, if today was any hint, we BOTH had a lot to work on.
We soon after headed to the car and the rode to the mall(not much money this week, $26 to my name to be exact so yeah....) to walk around and people watch as well as not so secretly building up our Christmas lists for each other. Even if we are only friends when the time comes we will still gift each other well.
There were a few moments for both of us when wed slip and call each other baby or baby girl, in his case.
A few moments where I know we both wanted to cry and just get list in each other but we knew it would be unhealthy if we allowed it.
Around 6 pm we headed to WalMart and grabbed a cheese cake to bring down to the creek and eat together...i cried my eyes out at one point during this...

around 8 we headed home. Apparently he told the people we are staying with that it's my birthday(I dont find it to be that big of a deal amongst all else that is goibg on so I didn't tell anyone)  because after being home for about half an hour he was called out the room and then i was too "come here please. Clay said this sis t his mess so it must be yours? Clean it up please"
"im sorry" i said walking over while trying to think of what mess I'd have left...only there was no mess but a cake instead. They all wished me happy birthday and again i had to hold back tears.

We returned to the room after sharing the cake and a few gleeful words and jokes as well as my own hugs and "thank you so much"es.

We tried to watch a movie together and behave but for some reason we kissed and i couldn't break from him i wanted it to never end. Wanted to kiss him until everything was normal again. We broke for a moment only to kiss again. This time it was certain that kiss was not ending. My hands were everywhere despite how fiercly he fought to not touch me  inappropriately.
At one point my hand stopped wandering in innocent places stopped groping his ass and slipped into his wait and to brush his cock. he wimpered and i quickly removed my hand. This was a bad idea. We couldn't do this! So why then was it still impossible for me to untangle myself from him? Why everytime that he started to pull away i clung to him and kept him on me. My hand found its way back down his pants and this time he embraced it.
"are we really doing this?" i asked a tinge of fear lacing my breath
"no." he said "we dont have to"
"i want to." and ith that we were lost. I pinned his hands and took him he let me bind his hands and later his ankles. We were completely lost in each other

After we through and laying there breathless but calmed some i whispered "what are we going to no. This changes nothing. We cant just jump back in like that. We are only friends right now" he agreed. Thank goodness because in that moment i had no fight left in me not even for our own good.

He took his blindness as well as chose to stay bound and i led him to his bed on the floor to rest as i laid on the real bed.

Saturday, October 19, 2013

scales of justice

im debating on rather or not i want to leave that last post public. but either way, here is the partial resolution to the situation.
i eventually wandered over to my bosses house and told her everything that happened last night and waited it out over there until i was calmer. i still didnt know weather or not  wanted to go home and try to reason with him. i had no idea if he was still in this weird violent mood or not nor did i know what caused it. thats what scared me the most is the flip of a switch to turn him to such n aggressive, scary mess.

i suppose he knew at some point i'd go to her because an hour after arriving myself, here he is at the door. my boss looked at me in a silent question "are you ready?" if i wasnt then he want coming in or even having the door opened.
i took a big breath and nodded. this is the man i love. this is the man im supposed to be marrying. i have to find out what caused this. i have to know if its going to be came a cycle.

"baby girl im sorry. i dont know what happened. can we talk please."
"on the porch. im not talking to you in private"
"ok" he had tears in his eyes. thtas a scary change.
kind sweet amazing dom only causing pain when i want or deserve it. only in a controlled way.
flip a switch.
aggressive frightening unstable man. not my dominant. scary. not afraid to slap and punch and strangle me.
flip a switch.
soft broken man. crying. begging.
i told him to wait outside and id be there in a moment...told my boss to please listen incase i screamed. i didnt know what hed do or if there was another switch coming and i didnt want to find out alone. she agreed and periodicly even stuck her head out the door to see that i was ok. i was so greatful. finally i felt safe again for a few moments.

eventually we talked enough for me to agree to come home under strict conditions.
1) i am not his and nor is he mine.
2)we are not to be alone together at any point.
-if we are the only two people in the house at any moment then we are to be in opposite rooms until further notice
-if we are both in our room, we do not ocupy the same space, ie one on the bed the other on the floor.
-our door is to ALWAYS be open until further notice.
3) we are both to remain clothed around each other.
4)i am always to have a phone on me so i can call for help
5) i am always to be closer to the door than he is
6) no pet or title names. we use only our real names to address each other
7) not my rule but i was in the end greatful for, he was to be made blind until 20 minutes after waking up. originally it was 10 minutes but he woke up early. he bound for most of the night and to sleep on the floor. these were rules set by someone much above him and who is always to honor and respects wishes and rules.
8) our relationship is not to continue as anything more than friends until i am confident that what happened yesterday will not happen again.

1) he is to never lay an aggresive hand on me again unless i ask for it or it is in the pretense of sexual exploration.
2) when ever an argument arises we are to walk away until BOTH are calm again not just him. this has been my rule from the beggining but now will be followed.
3) we are to only discuss and debate on the topic the original argument was on. ie if we are in disagreement on how something was done we talk only of that matter rather than switching into the usual "you always this you always that. why can you ever just ____"
4) when im upset with him i have to start allowing him to touch me gently rather than completely pulling away as ive always done with everyone in times of distress.
5) he will eventually become my husband. he will eventually be reinstated as my dominant. how ever in the case of an argument we are not D/s we are of equal power standing.
6) we are to treat each other with upmost respect at all times possible!
7) i am to work on breaking all of my negative habits and so is he.

Saturday, October 12, 2013

being lost

Some days being around Kids is theraputic. It helps so much to feel better and ok for the day.
Today however having this screaming laughing kids in the house in the room opposite to me is driving me insane.
I want to scream o want to cry and scratch and hurt physically instead of mentally. Yet somehow im strong enough to not want to go back to cutting and carving to do this....i guess that's progress that stays if you keep yourself in check for a year.
Im so snappy. So angry so...rigid and fragmented today.
Nothing is going right.
I feel like I have no control in ANYTHING not even my own emotions.
I just want to crawl up into a box and marinate in my own pain in one way. But then another part wants to go out and be that stuburn anxty teen that fights any and everything that looks at her wrong just to get out the pain and put it on someone else.
Another part wants to draw and write and wreck havoc on an imaginary world. That's the healthiest closest part to sane i think.
another part of me wants to leave this place and go for a long walk or run somewhere I've never been where no one knows me and i know no one else. I figure if im goibg to feel alone why not at least find escape in the feelings.
How do you survive? How do you function after losing two babies in one year. After trying so hard to even receive that first one....
I feel like i just cant get a break. Every time i think im on the road to being ok again life reminds me im far from it.
how do you hold onto yourself and stop losing yourself when you are a mother but cant even act as such?
When you are a lover but all you feel is pain and anger?
I kniw this is probably going to subside again a little by tomorrow but right now this is what i have.
A man that tries his best but doesn't understand what's goibg through my head because i cant possibly put into words or picture what im feeling.
A man that thinks im pushing him away when really im just struggling to stand up and stay alive.
I have an empty womb and a broken heart.
I have no money with a birthday, a wedding date, thanks giving, Christmas, rent all piled up on top of each other.
I am lost and i dont know how to fi d my way back home to him even though he is usually laying only feet away from me.

Thursday, October 10, 2013


Yesterday, Sir and I went to the mall around noon to gather job applications. Right after he was laid off my boss went through some personal issues that she no longer required my services so now with my birthday, our planned date to wed, thanksgiving, and  Christmas all right around the corner we are jobless.
We spent day before yesterday scrubbing and organizing my now former bosses house so that due to things that happened between her and her husband cps would have no reason to deny her rights to her own children so by yesterday with the job losses and day of scrubbing and organizing we were both stressed and in dire need of an outing.
Turns out the job search was part one of exactly what we needed.
We spent the day in the mall u til around 6pm flirting here and there with different girls and just feeling good to be out of the house and not worrying.
Then we came home and had a semi quickie before calming down for dinner.
Later after he finished up each placing another application we made love again.
Im beginning to think he enjoys getting me to the point of calling him vulgar things as begging for my orgasm isn't enough anymore on most nights that he talks me to beg.
last nights choice outburst was "please you mean fucking sir!!" with tears in my eyes.
For that I was awarded permission to cum as well as a nice quick but hard spanking!

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Balanced Trust

First off, I want to apologize for the crumby quality of my POV on that last post, I've learned not to even attempt to write when im in fuzzy place. I will try and fix that post tonight.

Now, onto to the title: truth.

In any aspect of this lifestyle whether it be master: slave, dom:sub, owner:pet , daddy dom:little girl,  ECT there are key aspects that are a must. TRUST being at the top of that list.

I have this topic on mind because of a young girl I have been speaking with, she reminded me yesterday of how alot of us are as newbie's to the lifestyle. Some of us understand that in order to be in this lifestyle we have to invest alot of trust in our opposite role, our other half in the equation. But through this we sometimes believe we have to give our full trust to someone simply because they are the other half and often times that trust is placed in the wrong hands and people get hurt.

On the other side of the coin are the people who remain cautious but they remain so cautious that they give no trust to even the right people and thus do not gain the true  experience of the lifestyle either.

Then there are those who dont even have the trust in themselves to know their limits and speak up if something is too much for them. Those who just want to fall completely in with no regards because they think they have to do it that way.

All three of these paths lead us to pain and in improper introduction to the lifestyle.

I thinkehen entering into anylife path whether be those I've listed above or even a venture to a new geographical location, caution must be taken to learn proper methods and safety guidelines. Research what you are getting yourself into. Find a mentor.

So many people dive in headfirst with whichever if the three takes. I listed above and find themselves in a lot of emotional and physical pain that they weren't yet ready or prepared for.

I myself when I first entered this lifestyle years ago fell into the role of giving full trust and submission to someone who was ill prepared to be a dominant figure to anyone much less myself.
However I do t regret it much. It eventually taught me alot abput choosing my words and actions carefully and how not to later treat my own submissives whether they be a semi oermanant bond or a mentoring position. Would I rather for other people to learn the same way I did? Hell no! That's the point of this post. Did I eventually learn all I needed to though? In a way yes. But I also learned much of what I learned through online research and dealing out others in the lifestyle. I learnined from being careful and not making the same painful mistakes twice. I am learning everyday by interacting with others in the lifestyle as well as taking my dominants role. 
Through all of this I have learned and farther learning to balance what degree of trust to give to who and what situations.
Initially my Sir did not receive my full trust that wasn't something I had to give to him increasingly.

Saturday, October 5, 2013

breaking points (EXPLICIT)

Well I suppose it showed somewhere on my body the need for his inflicted pain. Tonight, after dinner Sir and I watched an episode of "The L word" since he promised to watch it with me yesterday but didn't. Then after each cleaning up a bit, him first then I, we began our play time. While I was freshening up he had lit the candle and had the toys ready but where I didn't see them. He asked was originally going to cuff my hands but we could only find one through out the night so they were instead bound with a pretty silk sash that we have. Next I was blindfolded and placed into position. I know the first toy was my beloved flog. He started out light and gentle for only a few swipes. Then really began biting onto me with it. My ass, back, shoulders, and legs were all to be treated. During some moments even my feet and neck. Next was the riding crop, a few hard stings across the ass then he  began flicking it all along my inner thighs. A feather teaser and then more alternating lashings with the flog.
"on your knees" he finally tells me
So I get up onto them expecting him to be aiming for places he couldn't reach when I was laying down or bowed. Instead I feel this hard cocks tip on my lips.
"may I use my hands?" I ask
"thank you"
I take him in one hand and rub down to the base while stroking his thighs with the other and sucking him off. He begins flogging me harder and im getting so fucking wet so I start sucking on him more and really trying to please him and his hardness.

Im having so much difficulty remembering everything right now. Being blindfolded you are so much more focused on the sensations the where and the how isn't so much important to your mind to screenshot and order as the sensations are.

I do remember at one point after more delicious beatings and then being flipped to lay on my back Sir was having fun with orgasm control. He was running the toys across my clit and the rest of my pussy, enjoying shoving things in and getting me off as well as using his devilish mouth on my thighs and pussy.
I got close to orgasm and he reminded me I was not to cum
I began to beg, repeating please more intensely over and over and he repeatedly told me no.
Finally when I felt as if I could take no more I burst "PLEASE YOU SADISTIC FUCKING BASTARD"  he chuckled then thankfully gave me the words I needed "yea you can"

"what'd you say" I asked to make sure that was a can and not a "cant"
"go ahead"

Want to know the entire scene?Or the dominants POV
Visit Sirs blog

greed and lust

Inside I feel the days counting down. Each day, one more I have spent with Sir but one less until the day he leaves me for the military.
I've been greedy and im getting more so. I want him with me in every moment. Crave his touch, his love, his words, his presence at a constant. I know this will only make it harder to fathom his departure and harder more so to function with out him.
I want even his punishments more so before he leaves so I have more to cling to while he is gone. Well...perhaps not so much as a punishment as a flogging, spanking, ride crop session, bindings and more pushed to every limit and further until he leaves so that in some way I can feel stronger when he leaves from me.
I haven't explained this to him yet, the exact reasons and desires behind my greed.
I know I should but such discussions only bring abput sadness. The pain of knowing that for the first time since our paths have merged we will be apart for an extended period of time and not just apart but without communication.
Sure there will be letters written but it's not the same as a face to face interaction. When a relationship becomes an LDR even video meetings are so painfully different from the accustomed face to face, hand to hand, body to body, mouth to and encounters.
You dont take into account how much you take having him with you and serving him and pleasing him for granted until you are promised to lose that....
I've built my entire day to day joys and plans around loving and pleasing him....what will I do without will I find joy when I will have no ways of bringing hum joy for two straight months only to hold hum again for a week and then lose him again for an unsigned amount of time?
I also fearful to kniw a life without him...

Friday, October 4, 2013

his POV

How strange of a thought to know Sir will be blogging too now. To know that as I write this entry he sits mere feet away from me at his own laptop writing his own first post. What a strange thought that for some events I will write to you about, the flip side, my dominants view and feelings of those moments will also be publicized.
Well to you all that is.
We made the agreement when I began MY blog that he was not to read any post I wrote or write until  I said I was ready for him to read it as some would contain surprises and plans for him. We have decided that that same rule is in place in regards to when and if I am to read any of his posts.
I am always intrigued, however to see and hear how others perceive the exact same encounters as myself and how their perceptions can so greatly vary and mesh with my own.
So all in all this an intriguing topic to me. Just hoping he writes more here than he does in his own journal  :P then bad for not writing for long stretches myself do I suppose in a way this idea of him blogging too now is a good one. After all I've been writing more often than before at least(:

Sir's Ink

i feel like writing today but dont really know what i want to write about. theres much but i dont even know how to place it all into the correct order until i figure that one out, i figured id give you guys an excert of a story Sir has been working on.
curious to see what you all think of his writing style and such.

    My name is Jade, I have always stuck out in the group of people, my olive skin is a shear give away that I’m not from the Empire; not to mention my ears. I have dark hair, and gray eyes so that is another indicator towards the factor to me not being from around here. I work for the Imperials, and I have for all of my life. I’m the only woman commander in the entire Empire, which is found to be a joke. Most groups of people leave my battalion at bay because they know the name of the Black Hearts.

    The bush behind me begins to rustle and I quickly draw my knives, I have made many enemies in the empire and I am always on guard. A familiar voice leaves the heavy brush, “Whoa, Commander, its just me.” A man appears from the dense brush and begins to smile. He is what most women would call “Fair toned and handsome,” I know him much too well to even think of him as the “Loving Husband”. Beneath his sky blue eyes and his pale skin, under the ornament of grayish gold hair, lays the coldest man I could possibly know.
    “Hey Drago, what do you need to tell me.” He begins to let out a slight sigh, and the sarcasm in his voice is obvious, “Well the war is over forever, you and the rest of the Sixth Regiment can go home, and Monarch’s enemies are all slain.”
    “If it were all like that, I would go to my home in the Capital and just sleep for hours after a soothing bath, possibly jam my face full of the sweetest delicacies I possibly could find.”
    “Well now, this is the real news, Adrith has just advanced leaving the Sixth in charge of stopping him,” Drago’s face shifted into a displeasing manner, “Also we have to take them on in combat.”
    “No, we will not lose our men in the battle, we will settle this the way we always have.”
    “I will report that the orders are understood,” His face returned back to its normal composure.
    The way we made a name for ourselves is never losing a single soldier, the way we fight brings immense controversy. We call them the Black Games,  in the three days before the battle we will mentally disturb and unhinge the people on the other side. It works; I’ve never lost a soldier, even though this has come close to making me lose my own life.
    “Get the men ready to move, I know it is only a three day march to the lead of Adrith.”
    “Ma’am, it is closer to an hour or so, Adrith is already on the battle path he does not know we are here.”
    “Cover the fires, get ready to start, The games are as follows, The Axe of War, The Twelve Points, and The Ghost Fires.”
    “His scouts will be on top of us in an hour.”
    “We will swap uniforms and use their own men against them. However, this is a tactic we have never used; have one of our scouts get the uniform and enter his base. That man needs to get as close to Adrith as possible, and take out a guard, then get back to camp as soon as possible after losing their trail in the opposite direction.”
    “Okay anything else?” Drago’s face shifted to a cold war hardened look.
    “Tell the men to write their letters if we have to go into war I want them to have their peace made and for them to have no worry in the afterlife.” I stood and began to make the walk back to the main camp of my men, “Wait, I’ll tell them, if anyone should it is me.”

    We drew nearer and nearer, the tunnel vision I often get on walks began to set in, leaving tracers pushing the trees past my vision in a swift blur. The sound of a lute came from the far side of the camp as we entered bringing me back into consciousness. I walked to my tent, seeing all of the men standing in my presence never retires my respect for them; not a single man stood for the previous Commander.
    “Men, I stand before you not only as your leader but as one of you in combat. I am here to tell you the man of the hour is Adrith, his soul will be brought to its knees after today. He has set up camp near us, and he is now our target of the Black Games. His scouts should be around here at any moment in attempt to find enemy forces. We will find them first, and we will enter his camp, and slay the nearest man to him. To start the Games tonight the Axe of War will be placed.  Tonight their tents will earn some new decoration.”

    The men began to shuffle from the crowd and as soon as the throng of men dissipated into there tents, another group all bearing axes appear from the woods. The center element steps forward, “Ma’am we are all ready for your command, there are two extra axes carried by the last element if you would like to join us.”
    “I will join you, nightfall should be within the next half hour, We will start our journey then.” I heard the men pressing me with a slight hum, it proceeded through the ranks slowly adding on the bard’s ocarinas and then their lutes. The melody was one I have heard hundreds of times, it still chills the blood in my veins, I began to hum along with the men, it was a simple pattern. But with  the combination of the noises played it was enough to make any army stronger showing the bonds we held within each other. I simply began to sway my arms, to the beat of the song, My body began to flow like water at the smooth sound of the battle song, “Men I stand here waiting . . .” In this small pause the breath of the men pushed the sound of any music away, “Waiting to cause the horror to the mere mortals sitting unguarded and relaxed in their tents with the illusion of safety, well we are here to give them a nightmare.” Just as I finished that sentence I looked across the men’s faces, the look held of vampires, cold and blood thirsty.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013


People almost always begin a conversations with "well how are you" or some variant on the first word there, but how often do we expect the true answer? How often do they actually care to know?
Ask anyone "how are you" and the most common response you'll receive is "oh im ok" and maybe a few supporting details. But how often are these "ok" people not so ok? How often do they have so much that they'd love to talk about and get off of they're chest but for some reason or another, usually fear, they refrain from telling what's really going through their hearts and minds.
I think we are all guilty of it. we hold back so as to not burden our friends or family or to not be judged. We hold back because no stranger wants to know or cares at all about out inner workings.
but oddly enough strangers are sometimes the best people to talk to, yet people are so used to people only wanting particular answers that we're only give those answers to everyone.

One day in middle school a girl came up to me and sat down "hi, i'm britany and I don't know you but i'm new here and can we talk?"
I thought it was an odd way for a thirteen year old girl to introduce herself but on a lonely day like it was I was glad for the conversation no matter what we were going to talk about.
She began talking of how she had recently moved in to her grandfathers house. Of how she thought her mother didn't love her and how the woman had abandoned her in numerous places and how she hoped her grandparents would keep her and she finally had a place to stay. She told me of her favorite memories from grandfather and her least favorites of her mother. She cried a little at the end then hugged me and thanked me for just letting get talk. "I know you don't care about any of thus but I needed to tell some one"
We became friends for a little while after that. Talking here and there when no one else was around then more comfortably around everyone else until one day she moved again and soon after so did I.

looking back I admire that courage that she had. So few people have that courage to tell truthfully and completely honestly how they are feeling. More and more of us are getting more comfortable doing it in places like this where we can remain faceless and got fear the judgement. But in so few times do we have the courage to talk to a stranger when we need it or to go up to someone else who needs it and just give them someone to talk to. To lend some little bit of hope to a stranger.
So here's my challenge to all of you. If you see someone suffering go up to them and offer them an ear or a shoulder, you'd amazed how big of a difference that small gesture can make sometimes. And dont be afraid to ask someone for that solace to sit down and let you vent. What have you got to lose aside from some pain and anxt. What have you got to gain? The possibilities run from a friend to just some relief. You never know until you try.
I hope you all have a great day and if you arent.. Remember you dont have to be alone unless you make it that way.