Thursday, November 21, 2013

on brighter tides

before we get into this i'd just like to say hi to everyone who has stuck around so far and put up with my mindless ramblings and depressions. things started off on a really positive note before falling down hill and i want to get us back into that atmosphere. not everything has been hell this past month and i want to take this post to highlight some of the more positive moments in Sir and i'ze past month. i will in a moment.

also, i was offline during the  "love of lurkers" time so i want to let you all know now, despite how late i am, that you are more than appreciated and welcome to comment on anything i post at anytime. i dont care if it is silly or funny or serious or sad. i dont care if its a question or just a regular comment, i enjoy seeing you guys thoughts and input(:

 so now, what are some of the more positive things happening,
one very big one is that girl that i mentioned back in late august or early september, well i finally confessed to her and turns out shes head over heels for me as well <3 in a few months i will get to meet her and if she choses to she'll be staying with Sir and I<3
im so happy and excited about that!

my father, whos always been really bad at showing he cares, and at having any real relations with his offspring, i like that word....anyway, he's been putting in real effort to remain a constant part of my life. he began this right before and especially after the miscarriage.

Sir has a new job and i may be working again soon as well. this is convienent for us if i get the job i have my fingers on because we would both be located in the same building area so commuting to work on days we both are scheduled wont be a problem that way(we own only one car)

my social anxiety amped up pretty badly these past few weeks but this last week ive pretty much forced myself out of it! im proud of myself for that being that originally it was almost to the point of needing to be medicated.

im learning to talk and assess myself, FINALLY! and am beginning to understand what im feeling and thinking again as well as the reasons behind my asorted actions.

Sir and i found a couple semi-local pagan covens that we actually like and have contacted them in hopes that they will marry us rather than having to go through the christian system. we want our marriage to be authentic and connected to us and being that neither of us are very christian i think itd be very artificial feeling the entire ceremony and such if we wed that way. (we have nothing against most christians we just arent christian ourselves)

theres one more BIG one but im keeping that one a secret for a week or so until i have the picture i want to show it with.


  1. Thank you for finding my page! Social anxiety is a difficult thing to live with (my sister has it), it's good that you're making headway in that area, I know it's a lot of frustrating work. Handfasting's are beautiful ceremonies and like you said, authentic. Congratulations!

    1. Frustrating yes, I cry all the time right now which bothers me even further as I've never been a weak person. Not that tears are weakness but tears over every little thing...welll that's not so well. In the end though...i know the efforts will be worth while, that keeps me going. As for the handfasting, I'm hoping they agree to it, I've wanted to be wed that way since I learned of the ceremony around age 12

  2. oh, I hope that big news is what I think it is. Sounds like a lot of . positives are happening.