Tuesday, October 1, 2013


People almost always begin a conversations with "well how are you" or some variant on the first word there, but how often do we expect the true answer? How often do they actually care to know?
Ask anyone "how are you" and the most common response you'll receive is "oh im ok" and maybe a few supporting details. But how often are these "ok" people not so ok? How often do they have so much that they'd love to talk about and get off of they're chest but for some reason or another, usually fear, they refrain from telling what's really going through their hearts and minds.
I think we are all guilty of it. we hold back so as to not burden our friends or family or to not be judged. We hold back because no stranger wants to know or cares at all about out inner workings.
but oddly enough strangers are sometimes the best people to talk to, yet people are so used to people only wanting particular answers that we're only give those answers to everyone.

One day in middle school a girl came up to me and sat down "hi, i'm britany and I don't know you but i'm new here and can we talk?"
I thought it was an odd way for a thirteen year old girl to introduce herself but on a lonely day like it was I was glad for the conversation no matter what we were going to talk about.
She began talking of how she had recently moved in to her grandfathers house. Of how she thought her mother didn't love her and how the woman had abandoned her in numerous places and how she hoped her grandparents would keep her and she finally had a place to stay. She told me of her favorite memories from grandfather and her least favorites of her mother. She cried a little at the end then hugged me and thanked me for just letting get talk. "I know you don't care about any of thus but I needed to tell some one"
We became friends for a little while after that. Talking here and there when no one else was around then more comfortably around everyone else until one day she moved again and soon after so did I.

looking back I admire that courage that she had. So few people have that courage to tell truthfully and completely honestly how they are feeling. More and more of us are getting more comfortable doing it in places like this where we can remain faceless and got fear the judgement. But in so few times do we have the courage to talk to a stranger when we need it or to go up to someone else who needs it and just give them someone to talk to. To lend some little bit of hope to a stranger.
So here's my challenge to all of you. If you see someone suffering go up to them and offer them an ear or a shoulder, you'd amazed how big of a difference that small gesture can make sometimes. And dont be afraid to ask someone for that solace to sit down and let you vent. What have you got to lose aside from some pain and anxt. What have you got to gain? The possibilities run from a friend to just some relief. You never know until you try.
I hope you all have a great day and if you arent.. Remember you dont have to be alone unless you make it that way.


  1. What a wanderful poignant reminder.

    Too many people are alone because they dont see the potential support they could have, it just perhaps takes a little bravery to seek it out.

    I find it difficult to ask for help, i dont like facing up to the fact that sometimes i need it, but when i do i realise that one im not alone, and two im all the better for it when i do.


    1. im always the last to ask for help but the first to attempt an offer. if i do ask for help its always when people know its gotta be something big for me to actually be asking

  2. I love this, and thank you for stating it allowed. I often think it myself.

    It reminds me one time when I was 16 I was in the bank with my boyfriend at the time and I gave him a hug because we were playing around. A woman came up and asked if she could have a hug, and I said sure! (I love hugs anyway!) I proceeded to give her a hug, which lasted a long time, and when the embrace was broken she had tears streaming down her face. She looked at me and said, "Thank you, I know you don't know me and we will never meet again probably, but I really needed that."

    I've never seen her again, but it always warms me to know that at that point in time I could be her should even if it was briefly. :)

    1. I have at times been asked "wait, where is my hug" or I have said it myself. I never know if the person is just being in a playful manner or if they need they truly need that embrace, but i never say no to it.

  3. What a great post. Lately, things have been so hectic for me that honestly, I answer "I am okay" or "I am fine". Truth be told, no matter how many of my friends know me and know that something is going, they allow that answer to be final. Now, Sir, He no longer allows it to be final. It isn't that I do not want to talk to my friends, it is that I feel like a burden, so I keep it to myself. Not the best solution, trust me!

    Now, because of what I have gone through, and realize that sometimes just an ear to listen to me does make me feel better, I do try and ask someone who I see a little distressed if they are okay, if I can help with something, etc. Sometimes the answer is "I am okay." I try not let it stay that way until I am absolutely confident the person will not take it any further than "I am okay".

    I think in this day and age, with out fast technology is booming, etc that people forget to slow down and realize that human emotions still play a huge part in someone's day and no matter how much technology is available, that never cures the loneliness, compassion, 'wish someone would give a damn', etc emotions. Those can only be cured with physical human contact.

    1. ive been doing the same with a lot of friends and even a couple strangers....this past week has been so difficult but i rather try and get through it alone so i just keep saying "im ok today(:" to everyone who asks. ive even done it some with Sir but luckily we both force each other to talk for real.

      asking other people if they will talk to you when they need it is so much easier than asking them to talk to you because you need it, or so is what ive found in my self. everyone is different. my thing is id rather be there for someone and help them than be a burden to anyone. i know if im there for someone they arent a burden to me but if i need someone i feel like i am burdening them oddly enough.

      with the current technological standing, i think its so easy to try and block off emotion and just get lost in the day to day and not even pay attention to our emotions much less allow someone else in. i think thats why its so important to me lately, is that realization, that i try to open up more and not just be there for people but allow them to be there for me.